Introduction
I was diagnosed with advanced cancer after giving birth to my third child one month early. I was 32 years old and would never have imagined that the symptoms I was having meant that I had an 8 cm diameter growth of cancer in the centre of my chest. The doctors gave me a maximum of eight weeks to live, and it would not be a great quality of life. I want to discuss and explain how I rationalised and had the mental strength to survive beyond the eight weeks I was given.
Mediastinal Cancer that Originated in the Thymus
I believe that a positive mindset and refusal to feel sorry, sad, or pity for oneself is key to a successful recovery. I also believe that cancer treatment and all the chemicals and the side effects are part and parcel of the process of getting better.
I genuinely believe that recovery from serious illness, such as cancer, is clearly fundamentally to do with the doctors and the treatment and the people around you; however, if you don’t believe that you can fight and survive a potentially tragic and life-ending diagnosis, then you might as well give up! I was in the hospital with a 19-year-old who had the same cancer that I did, straight after giving birth to my third child. Not only was I weak from the traumatic pregnancy, but I was also older than most of those who are unfortunate to be diagnosed with such an aggressive cancer. I was also petrified at the thought of not being able to see my children grow up.
There is no one way to rationalise or mentally deal with your potential mortality.
However, I do believe that your outlook and gratitude, not only for the lengths to which the doctors go, but also for the care provided by your friends and family, are invaluable.
Beacon of Hope
I spent a lot of time lying in a hospital bed attached to poison or poisons, which you are told will apparently help your body to fight and kill the cancer, and hopefully survive. That said, nobody tells you that the toxicity of the cancer treatment chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and immunotherapy all cause permanent damage and profoundly harmful side effects. I had pneumonia 5 times in the space of six months. And nobody prepared me for the fact that I would feel so weak and exhausted, permanently nauseous, and so fragile. On top of that, I felt like a burden to my entire family. Plus, my children, especially my eldest daughter, were horrified by my baldness and my rapid weight loss.
We all know what cancer is, and most people know at least one person or more who has died because of cancer. Why does no one explain what cancer is and how it kills you?
I think the children should be taught what cancer is, how it grows, and how it kills you. Also, how the medication used to treat cancer is toxic and damaging, and it’s basically a race between the cancer and the chemotherapy and radiotherapy as to which doesn’t kill you first. I also think that people need to know that a positive outlook and refusal to give up are so important and a significant part of the survival rate.
I find it sad when I hear people discussing friends, relatives, children, and anyone they know who has just been diagnosed with cancer, and how people refer to it as the big’C’!
One third of the people on earth will at some point be diagnosed with some form of cancer. I don’t want to normalise it, but I also don’t want to demonise it. It’s just part of living or potentially surviving, and people need to understand how it occurs, how they fight it, and how you can help fight it with positivity and a desire to live, and not just give up. Strangely enough, women give birth every day. When I had my first child, I had no idea of any of the details, not even my mother told me. It is overwhelming that there are many embarrassing moments, more pain than I think any man could survive, yet they still smile when the baby is placed on their chest. My point being, we are happy to discuss so many things, such as bullying, manners, studying, and the importance of doing well. However, nobody explains some of the most devastating, confusing, and profoundly mentally and physically challenging experiences that people will ever confront.
I chose to write about this topic because I almost lost my life, and it was very mentally and physically draining. Unfortunately, most people do not know how to deal with illness and what to say because they don’t understand what is involved in trying to survive a serious illness. The amount of platitudes people say or tell you is one of the most irritating aspects of being severely sick or potentially mortally ill. As an example, I regularly received cards from friends wishing me to get well soon. Which, frankly, is not only insane but insulting. I didn’t catch a cold. I was diagnosed with an 8-week death sentence!
Conclusion
I think it’s probably slightly unusual for a patient to be so inquisitive about the treatments and the potential negative side effects. Sadly for my oncologist, I was one of those annoying patients. I wanted to understand everything: why they were taking blood and what they were testing it for, why they had to take my bone marrow, the name of my (or acronym!) chemotherapy, and why all the chemotherapy drugs were different colors? Why was I so exhausted after every radiotherapy session, and why did the immunotherapy make me feel violently sick? What survival odds did they give me, percentage-wise? (I think in retrospect that was one question I probably did not need or want to know the answer to, it was shockingly low!đł). Of course, I’m aware and understand that a lot of patients would prefer to live in blissful ignorance, which obviously should be respected. However, if a patient wants to know their prognosis and understand their treatments, I think that doctors should be able and willing to explain in simplistic and understandable terms what the patient can expect to endure and experience throughout the treatment.
In school, children are taught many things, some practical, some not so practical. It will come as no surprise that I was a student hungry for knowledge. I genuinely enjoy learning and understanding how things work and why things are the way they are. However, I feel we need to adjust how children are educated! We haven’t adjusted our education system at the same rate as the world is changing. Children these days face so many distractions and so much competition, yet we still educate them the same way we did decades ago.  Children need more practical life/survival skills and interpersonal skills. Â
I am genuinely fearful as to how AI is going to change the world, and not in a positive way. As useful as it is, it is making people more lazy and less inclined to be inquisitive and ask questions, read books, and try to understand subjects and do research, because it’s too easy to ask AI to do the work for you.
References
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Morante-Sainz, I., Ruiz-PĂŠrez, I., & Maldonado-Martin, S. (2026). Effects of physical activity and exercise interventions in health-related variables in Hodgkin’s and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma patients during clinical treatment: a systematic review and single-arm meta-analysis. The Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness, 66(3), 453â463. https://doi.org/10.23736/S0022-4707.25.17121-1
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Author Bio
Sarah Nicola was born in Oxford, England, on the 7th of November 1971. She moved to Zambia with her parents and sister in 1974 and attended primary school until the age of 11. She was then sent to an all-girls boarding school in England. The school was highly academic and extremely competitive. After completing her A-levels, she took a year off before attending university to work with the British embassy in Cyprus. She then started university at Oxford Brookes University, studying art history; however, because the fees were expensive and her parents were not able to contribute, she ended up accepting a modeling contract, which was extremely lucrative. However, her family was not happy, so she started working in the car parts industry and attending night school. After seven years, she met her future husband in the south of France, and they married and had three children.
Sadly, the marriage did not survive, partly due to her husband’s inability to cope with Sarah’s illness, including the fact that Sarah reassessed what she wanted out of life and realised when she was three years into remission that she couldn’t rely on her husband’s emotional support. Sarah felt that if her life partner fell apart when she needed him most, she couldn’t rely on him to be supportive as they grew older. Sarah and her husband separated in 2007 and finally divorced in 2009 after an extremely acrimonious and painful divorce process. This included not only her husband but also his whole family, who were trying to gain custody of the three children. Sarah won full custody against all odds. The children are now 26, 24, and almost 22. All three went to university, and two achieved their master’s. The third child is currently doing her master’s. It has not been easy because my ex-husband refused, and the court upheld that request to pay me any maintenance. He did pay the minimal amount for each child, however, our son, who stayed back a year, was still living at home until he was 19, and his father stopped the maintenance to support his son living with me.
Due to all the treatments Sarah received to cure the non-Hodgkin lymphoma, she now has lung fibrosis, myocardiopathy, ulcerative colitis, and diverticulitis, just a few of the side effects of the severe treatments. Sarah knows that the alternative would have been death almost 22 years ago.
Published under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license for mental health awareness with editorial review.