Introduction
I Attempted Suicide
I am writing this not to shock you, but to tell the truth in my experience. I reached a point where life felt too heavy to carry. Money problems were closing in, my relationship was breaking up, and despite my qualifications, I was not getting work. It felt like every door was locked. What followed was a crisis that I survived, and that survival changed how I understand mental health.
This article blends my lived experience. Suicide is a serious global issue, and behind every statistic is a human story. According to global health bodies, most people who think about suicide do not actually want to die. They just want relief from pain.
This piece aims to:
- Educate
- Reduce stigma around mental health struggles
- Offer hope and direction for anyone feeling overwhelmed
If you take one thing from this, let it be: even in your lowest moment, your story is not over.
When I Lost My Job, I Somehow Lost My Identity
Work is not just about earning money. It often shapes identity, routine, and purpose. When I lost my job, I felt lost. Days became longer, motivation dropped, and self-doubt crept in. It was not just income that disappeared. There was a loss of structure, confidence, and a sense of progress.
Then, the bills piled up faster than opportunities. Each unanswered call and unpaid balance added weight to my thoughts. Financial stress is one of the worst predators of mental health. My brain shifted into survival mode, which created anxiety and feelings of failure. I have come to learn that job loss is not a personal failure, it is often influenced by economic systems and, in my case, had nothing to do with me.
Emotional Isolation Inside My Marriage
My marriage was a source of strength, but when the stress of finances crept in, it started to crumble. The emotional impact was intense. Conflict, separation, and episodes of silence created a deep sense of loneliness, even when surrounded by loved ones. Communication slowly disappeared, making small disagreements lead to large emotional distances.
What Changed After the Crisis
Surviving a suicide crisis does not instantly fix everything, but it creates a moment, a pause where perspective can begin to shift. For me, that moment was quiet but powerful. After waking up from a deliberate pill overdose, I realised that pain had narrowed my view, making problems feel larger and solutions invisible. My family and friends came together to support me out of my hopeless haze. The non-judgmental shoulders to cry on and professional therapy were the first steps out of the hole.
Recovery is not a straight line. Some days feel heavy again, but survival created a foundation for change, and that foundation matters.
Conclusion
Suicide is a complex issue shaped by many factors, including financial stress, relationship struggles, job loss, and mental health conditions. Nonetheless, one truth stands out clearly from both research and lived experience, crises pass, even when they feel endless. This article is not just my story, it is a reminder. Pain can be overwhelming, but it is not permanent. Most importantly, help exists.
I chose to write about attempting suicide but surviving for a reason that goes beyond storytelling. Financial pressure, relationship struggles, and job loss quietly broke me down. Too often, conversations about mental health stay on the surface. We talk about stress or burnout, but we rarely connect the dots to the deeper realities people face daily. I wanted to tell my story about when it felt like the end, but it was not. Lastly, writing this piece was to contribute to shaping conversations about mental health.
References
Choi, N. G., Marti, C. N., and Choi, B. Y. (2022). Job loss, financial strain, and housing problems as suicide precipitants: Associations with other life stressors. SSM – Population Health, 19, 101243. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmph.2022.101243
Guan, N., Guariglia, A., and Moore, P. (2022). Financial stress and depression in adults: A systematic review. PLOS ONE, 17(2), e0264041. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0264041
Mathieu, S., Treloar, A., Hawgood, J., Ross, V., and Kõlves, K. (2022). The role of unemployment, financial hardship, and economic recession on suicidal behaviors and interventions to mitigate their impact: A review. Frontiers in Public Health, 10, 907052. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2022.907052
Nisar, A., Yin, J., Waqas, A., Bai, X., Wang, D., Rahman, A., & Li, X. (2020). Prevalence of perinatal depression and its determinants in Mainland China: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 277, 1022–1037. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2020.07.046
Roelfs, D. J., and Shor, E. (2023). Financial stress, unemployment, and suicide: A meta-analysis. Crisis, 44(6), 506–517. https://doi.org/10.1027/0227-5910/a000908
Author Bio
Nickson Mberesha has 10+ years of experience delivering impactful projects in child protection, OOSC education, youth engagement, theatre and film, and community development. He focuses on turning ideas into practical solutions that improve access, strengthen systems, and create real opportunities for communities. His work experience spans not-for-profit project implementation, stakeholder engagement, training/facilitation, and digital content development. He has led initiatives that deliver results in fast-paced, resource-constrained environments. Strong interest in community empowerment and inclusive development, he is hands-on and adaptable, with a track record of delivering results.
Published under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license for mental health awareness with editorial review.