Introduction
When I was a teenager, I really found it difficult to control my feelings, especially because I was highly introverted, but also an older sibling, and my parents weren’t exactly easy on me about my school grades and the way I led my life in general: When I got up, when I went to bed, how I ate.
It was difficult for me to handle frustration when I wasn’t perfect, and I didn’t feel appreciated enough by my family. All of these usually ended in me crying for hours, yelling at my family, and isolating myself.
You Can’t Avoid Emotions
My mom was wise enough to send me to therapy when I was 15 years old, and I’ll always be grateful for that. But the first thing I learned was that emotions are normal reactions to the environment, and that they weren’t wrong in themselves.
You Can Control Your Emotions
I remember there was one thing that always triggered my anxiety, and it was getting lost looking for a place in my city. The therapist gently guided me to rationalize those episodes. Instead of getting desperate, I asked myself, “What could I practically do to get out of that situation?” If I took the situations objectively, they were way smaller than I thought.
I Can Be Emotionally Intelligent
In therapy, I understood that my emotions don’t necessarily control me, but also that they can move me towards improvement, such as generating new skills, like understanding directions in the city, but I also discovered my positive emotions and how to use them to make my life easier. I acknowledged the joy I got from learning new things at school, and school became enjoyable.
Conclusion
I still remember my school years and my therapy fondly because I chose it to be that way. The discovery of emotional intelligence has enlightened my relationships to the point where I feel I have a good marriage because I’m very aware of not following my impulses and bringing the situations down to Earth, and my spouse shares these practices with me.
I chose to write about this topic because it’s dear to my heart, but also because it’s relevant in this day and age when people prefer to follow their emotions to the extreme, and that’s one of the reasons I think mental health is going down among young people.
References
Glassie, S. L., & Schutte, N. S. (2024). The relationship between emotional intelligence and optimism: A meta-analysis. International Journal of Psychology, 59(3), 353–367. https://doi.org/10.1002/ijop.13108
Rehman, R., Tariq, S., & Tariq, S. (2021). Emotional intelligence and academic performance of students. The Journal of the Pakistan Medical Association, 71(12), 2777–2781. https://doi.org/10.47391/JPMA.1779
White, B. A. A., & Quinn, J. F. (2023). Personal growth and emotional intelligence: Foundational skills for the leader. Clinics in Sports Medicine, 42(2), 261–267. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.csm.2022.11.008
Zhang, Y., & Chen, J. K. (2023). Emotional intelligence and school bullying victimization in children and youth students: A meta-analysis. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(6), 4746. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20064746
Zhou, Z., Tavan, H., Kavarizadeh, F., Sarokhani, M., & Sayehmiri, K. (2024). The relationship between emotional intelligence, spiritual intelligence, and student achievement: A systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Medical Education, 24(1), 217. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12909-024-05208-5
Author Bio
Laura Ceballos Flórez is a Colombian musician with experience as an ESL instructor to college students and professionals. In her classes, she includes topics such as leadership and soft skills in the business space, with her unique approach as an artist. She also performs Early Music here and there and has a YouTube channel.
Published under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license for mental health awareness with editorial review.