Introduction
What is Addiction? How Do We Define It and Is There a Solution?
In my 42 colourful years on earth, I have been intimately familiar with addiction. From my own desperate need for love, approval, and validation, to parents with physical abuse or emotional dependencies, to partners with severe substance and sexual abuse histories. These were the common denominators underneath all of these versions of suffering, in my experience, loneliness and a lack of connection. Not primarily to others, but really to oneself. You can only perceive and receive what you believe you are deserving of. I realise this may be inflammatory to read, but let us curiously explore this idea.
Addiction is a complex condition, a brain disorder that is manifested by compulsive substance use despite harmful consequences. It can be characterized by an overwhelming desire to use a substance, loss of control over usage, and the development of tolerance and withdrawal symptoms. Defining addiction often involves understanding the various forms it can take, including substance-related addictions like drugs and alcohol, as well as behavioral addictions such as gambling or internet use. The American Psychiatric Association classifies addiction within the framework of substance use disorders, which highlights the psychological, social, and biological factors involved. There are various approaches to addressing addiction, and while there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, several strategies have been found effective.
Me, Me, Me
There is the ME, the victim that is owed something by life, and then there is the ME that is fully formed and worthy of all the treasures life has to offer. But how do we go from feeling like a feather in the wind to becoming our own wind of change, blowing into the sails of our life?
There are infinite ways, but one thing is for sure, the only way is through you.
Where to Begin???
It may seem like a cliché, and maybe even an overly pragmatic suggestion. The truth is, peace comes from stillness and not from the wave. To find that stillness, we must fully and radically accept who we are today, with compassion for ourselves and forgiveness for others. If these two basic pillars are not met, there cannot be a foundation for growing into self-love. That self-love grows into connection with oneself, which then develops into the ability to connect with others, and the ability to release addictions to food, sex, substances, and emotions like sadness, shame, guilt, and many other forms of attachment we tend to indulge in.
It is not easy, but it is simple.
Neuroplasticity changes the brain. Think it, write it, say it, do it until you start to believe it. Practice makes progress. Let go of the outcome and focus on the process. Again, again, again. Unless you want to suffer. You are also allowed to suffer, but you do have a choice. Every day is a new day, a chance to choose again.
Conclusion
Each day is a new beginning. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. Be present with yourself, and fall in love with yourself. The internal world will become far more fulfilling than the external stimuli we often hope will save us.
This topic has been a part of my life, and I have witnessed many beautiful healing journeys, including my own, through the path of radical honesty, acceptance, and the courage to try again. After all, life is nothing but a series of moments.
References
Alexander, B. K. (2008). The globalization of addiction: A study in poverty of the spirit. Oxford University Press. https://raggeduniversity.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/1_x_Bruce-K.-Alexander-The-globalisation-of-addiction-_-a-study-in-poverty-of-the-spirit-Oxford-University-Press-USA-2010.pdf
Berg, S. J., Zaso, M. J., Biehler, K. M., & Read, J. P. (2024). Self-compassion and self-forgiveness in alcohol risk, treatment and recovery: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 31(3), e2987. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2987
LaFata, E. M., Allison, K. C., Audrain-McGovern, J., & Forman, E. M. (2024). Ultra-processed food addiction: A research update. Current Obesity Reports, 13(2), 214–223. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13679-024-00569-w
Gupta, A., Osadchiy, V., & Mayer, E. A. (2020). Brain-gut-microbiome interactions in obesity and food addiction. Nature Reviews, Gastroenterology & Hepatology, 17(11), 655–672. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41575-020-0341-5
Hauck, C., Cook, B., & Ellrott, T. (2020). Food addiction, eating addiction and eating disorders. The Proceedings of the Nutrition Society, 79(1), 103–112. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0029665119001162
Phelps, C. L., Paniagua, S. M., Willcockson, I. U., & Potter, J. S. (2018). The relationship between self-compassion and the risk for substance use disorder. Drug and Alcohol Dependence, 183, 78–81. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2017.10.026
Author Bio
Stefanie Fröehlich has lived a lot of life. She knows what she doesn’t know, and she knows that knowledge doesn’t equal wisdom. Forged by fire and liberated by love, her encounters with life have humbled and inspired her with compassion and patience for the healing journey of each one of us, no matter how long and arduous that journey may be.
Published under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license for mental health awareness with editorial review.