Tag: relationships

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How Childhood Experiences and Dynamics Shape Adults

Introduction

The human brain starts developing as early as when the child is a foetus. The feelings a child experiences and the experiences they have in the early years shape them and their personality. It just gets reinforced by the family they are around. It continues to get reinforced so hard that, sometimes, when the family dynamics are not ideal or, more so, traumatic, the child goes on to become an individual they didn’t plan to become. When life or reality hits them, that’s when they realise how far they’ve come and how they didn’t plan all of this, which gives them regret, which gives them hopelessness.

That’s why childhood experiences, as early as the child being a foetus, are super important.

Childhood is where we first learn what love, safety, and acceptance feel like. A child does not question their environment; they absorb it. If they grow up feeling heard and supported, they often carry a sense of confidence into adulthood. But if they grow up around fear, neglect, or constant pressure, those feelings don’t just disappear. They stay, often quietly shaping how the person thinks and reacts later in life. For example, someone who was often criticised as a child may grow up doubting themselves, even when they are doing well. Similarly, a child who had to take on responsibilities too early may struggle to relax or trust others. These patterns become so normal that people don’t always realise where they come from. It is only later, when they face challenges in relationships or work, that they begin to connect their present behaviour with their past experiences.

Emotional Patterns Carry Forward

The way a child learns to deal with emotions often stays with them as they grow up. If a child’s feelings were ignored or brushed aside, they may not really know how to express themselves later in life. They might go quiet during arguments or avoid tough conversations completely. On the other hand, if they were shouted at or punished for showing emotions, they might grow up feeling anxious or overly sensitive. These reactions don’t come out of nowhere; they are things we learn over time. As adults, many people don’t understand why they react the way they do in certain situations. It can feel confusing. But often, these patterns started in childhood. Once people start noticing this, it becomes a little easier to work on it and slowly change.

Relationships Are Deeply Affected

Childhood experiences strongly influence how people form and maintain relationships. A person who grew up feeling secure is more likely to trust others and communicate openly. But someone who experienced inconsistency or hurt may struggle with trust. They might fear abandonment or push people away before getting hurt. Sometimes, people even find themselves repeating similar unhealthy relationship patterns without understanding why. These behaviours are often rooted in early experiences with caregivers. Understanding this connection can help individuals build healthier and more stable relationships over time.

Healing Is Possible with Awareness

Even though childhood has a strong impact, it does not define a person completely. People can grow, unlearn, and change. The first step is becoming aware of how past experiences are affecting present behaviour. This can happen through self-reflection, conversations, or even therapy. Once a person understands their patterns, they can slowly start making different choices. Healing is not quick or easy, but it is possible. Over time, people can learn to respond differently, build healthier habits, and create a life that feels more in control and aligned with who they truly are.

Conclusion

Childhood experiences have a deep and lasting impact on who we become as adults. The way we think, feel, and respond to situations is often shaped by things we went through early in life. While these patterns can sometimes hold us back, understanding them gives us the power to change. It helps us make sense of our reactions and take small steps towards becoming better versions of ourselves. Childhood may shape us, but it does not have to define us forever. With awareness and effort, people can grow, heal, and create a life that feels more stable and fulfilling.

I chose this topic to write about because it is very personal to me. Growing up, I was raised by a single parent who was emotionally unavailable. As the older sibling, I had to take on responsibilities early and grow up faster than I should have. At that time, it felt normal, but as I’ve grown older, I’ve started to realise how much of my childhood I missed out on.

Only recently, I began to understand how these early experiences have shaped the way I think, feel, and handle situations in my adult life. This made me reflect on how deeply childhood can influence a person, often in ways we don’t notice until much later.

References

De Venter, M., et al. (2020). The associations between childhood trauma and work functioning in adulthood. Journal of Affective Disorders, 276, 378–386. https://doi.org/10.1192/j.eurpsy.2020.70

Fares-Otero, N. E., et al. (2025). Child maltreatment and resilience in adulthood: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychological Medicine. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0033291725001205

Hughes, K., et al. (2017). The effect of multiple adverse childhood experiences on health: A systematic review and meta-analysis. The Lancet Public Health, 2(8), e356–e366. https://doi.org/10.1016/s2468-2667(17)30118-4

Umar, M. (2025). The impact of adverse childhood experiences on post-traumatic stress disorder in adulthood: A systematic review. Journal of Affective Disorders Reports. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-025-07090-x

Xiao, Z., Baldwin, M. M., Wong, S. C., Obsuth, I., Meinck, F., & Murray, A. L. (2023). The impact of childhood psychological maltreatment on mental health outcomes in adulthood: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 24(5), 3049–3064. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380221122816

Author Bio

Aparna Abhishek Iyer is a content marketer and has created and worked with different brands for five years. She loves storytelling. She loves to explore how content brings growth to a business, and she has worked with different formats of content, whether it’s written, long-form, short-form, or videos.

 

Published under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license for mental health awareness with editorial review.

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The Power of Vulnerability

Introduction

For many people, sharing how they feel with others can be a challenge. When we are struggling, it’s common to feel as though telling others will make us look bad or feel weak. Vulnerability means revealing our inner emotions to the people around us, which can feel exposing and frightening. Even though it’s hard, being vulnerable allows people to understand and empathize with us.

You might think of vulnerability as weakness. After all, being vulnerable means revealing parts of yourself that you might want to keep hidden.

However, there are benefits to revealing your thoughts and feelings to others.

The Power of Naming Emotions and Embracing Vulnerability

For example, being able to name our emotions can help us manage them. When we are feeling overwhelmed or upset, it might seem like the best way to handle our emotions is to lock them up. If we do not talk about them and try not to think about them, maybe the feelings we are struggling with will go away. However, in reality, what helps us manage our emotions is having the courage to share them. A 2012 study found that expressing what we are feeling out loud helps reduce fear and other heightened emotions in stressful situations (Kircanski et al., p. 1086, 2012). During the study, participants in exposure therapy were asked to name their emotions aloud while being exposed to a feared stimulus. The participants still felt afraid, but expressing how they felt helped limit their fear response and calm their emotions (Kircanski et al., p. 1090, 2012).

Being vulnerable is also important for maintaining and improving our relationships.

Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher and professor who studies vulnerability, shame, and empathy, explains that humans are wired for connection. Those who have the courage to be authentic are the people who can build strong connections with others. According to Dr. Brown, feelings of unworthiness prevent us from making connections with others. Embracing vulnerability is a key part of learning to feel worthy of other people’s care and of our own success.

The Factors That Shape Loneliness

All of us have experienced loneliness, and many of us have struggled with it. Especially during the height of the pandemic, many people felt a lack of connection and fulfillment, a feeling that characterized loneliness. Although everyone experiences loneliness differently, a person’s physical location, social situation, and culture all influence how and when loneliness affects them.

Academic studies of loneliness sometimes approach it from different perspectives. However, many studies focus on the factors that contribute to our risk of loneliness or shape our experience of it. For example, Dr. Kimberly Smith (2019) identifies two major risk factors that people often confuse with loneliness itself, i.e., physical isolation and psychosocial or social isolation.

Physical and Social Isolation

Physical isolation may seem like loneliness because it limits social connections, and being physically isolated does make you more likely to be lonely. However, physical isolation and loneliness are not the same thing. Someone living on their own may not feel lonely even though they aren’t in proximity to others, and someone living with others may still experience loneliness (Smith, 2019, p. 614, 2019). On the other hand, social isolation refers to a lack of contact with family, friends, or community and can occur whether or not someone is physically isolated (Smith, 2019, p. 614, 2019). Similar to physical isolation, social isolation can often be mistaken for loneliness. However, it’s important to note that both serve as significant risk factors, with loneliness tending to be the more prevalent concern.

While physical and social isolation increase our risk of loneliness, a study by Ozawa-de Silva and Parsons (2020) shows that culture plays a key role in shaping loneliness. Our culture shapes how we interact with others and our expectations for relationships, which, in turn, influences what it takes to make us feel lonely (Ozawa-de Silva & Parsons, 2020, p. 614, 2020). This means that the nature of loneliness varies across cultures and is tied to a society’s social, political, and class structures (Ozawa-de Silva & Parsons, 2020, p. 620, 2020).

The Trouble with Addressing Loneliness

Every person experiences loneliness differently. Physical isolation, social isolation, and culture all play a role in loneliness. However, the underlying causes can range from someone’s upbringing to a major life event or health issue (Smith, p.41, 2019). Since loneliness is so varied, Smith (2019, p. 41) argues that existing interventions are ineffective and we must tailor solutions to each individual in need.

Experiencing loneliness isn’t easy. Where we live, our social situation, and our culture are only some of the many factors that affect how and when we feel lonely. However, the need for connection that underlies all loneliness makes it a universal human experience (Ozawka-de Silva & Parsons, p. 614, 2020). When you are struggling with loneliness and don’t know who to reach out to, consider contacting a therapist.

Here, at WHJ Online Therapy Centre, we can equip you with tools to deal with loneliness and mental health struggles. It will take a minimum of 2 hours to get started, and the process will involve several key stages to ensure a thorough evaluation before moving forward. After that, we can expect a smooth execution that aligns with our timeline and goals.

Loneliness remains difficult to understand and hard to experience. Familiarizing yourself with some of its causes and risk factors will help you to understand your own experience better.

Conclusion

Vulnerability can be a difficult skill to practice, but it can help us connect with others and understand our emotions. It isn’t easy to open up about our feelings, both positive and negative, but learning to be vulnerable means learning to manage our emotions healthily and to improve our relationships with others. As Dr. Brené Brown says, when we let ourselves be seen and accept who we are, we can then become kinder, more connected people.

References

Brown, Brené. (2011). The power of vulnerability. YouTube, uploaded by TED, 2011. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

Kircanski, Katharina et al. (2012). Feelings into words: Contributions of language to exposure therapy. Psychological Science, 23(10), 1086–1091. https://doi.or/10.1177/0956797612443830

Smith, K. (2019). Charting loneliness. RSA Journal, 165(1), 38-41. https://www.jstor.org/stable/26798454

Ozawa-de Silva, C., Parsons, M. (2020). Toward an anthropology of loneliness. Transcultural Psychiatry, 57(5), 613-622. https://doi.org/10.1177/1363461520961627

Author Bio

Nora is an international student from the USA. She was studying in the Czech Republic for her master’s. Her focus is on the School of Humanities and Social Sciences. She is especially interested in exploring how self-talk and self-awareness affect mental health within queer communities.

“Through my experience as a student living abroad, I’ve learned a lot about taking care of my mental health and handling big life changes. In my free time, I’m an avid reader, knitter, and artist. At WHJ Online Therapy Centre, I worked as a content writing intern, expanding my knowledge of mental health and self-help tools.” – Nora Zapalac

 

Published under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license for mental health awareness with editorial review.