Tag: stress

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Thoughts on Social Media Posts about Mental Health

To make sense of your sadness and then heal from depression, negative memories, anxiety, health issues

It wasn’t too long ago that I saw something on Instagram that caught my attention. It was a post by an old college classmate of mine which said something along the lines of, “If you are ever feeling low, if you have something on your mind, please reach out to me and we can talk about it.” Now that post irritated me and I guess it’s just my anger issues cropping up but nonetheless, that post was thought provoking and I am here to tell you why.

I have had my fair share of mental health issues and I continue to work on them. I seek therapy often and I find that it helps me recognize and resolve the many issues that I face. And I want to stress on the important role therapy plays in deciphering, recognizing and resolving many mental health concerns and I want to make this clear, if you have issues that you find overwhelming, please visit a registered therapist and seek professional help. Do not fall prey to social media posts where untrained, attention seeking netizens claim to be there to help you. They have no idea what they are doing and more importantly you are confiding your deepest fears with them and this kind of granular personal information needs to be handled securely by a professional and not someone who puts up a post (unless they are from the professional background).

Therapy involves a lot of confidentiality and a lot of work. People who are not trained will not be able to handle such sensitive information nor have the right tools to efficiently protect your data. Many times speaking to untrained people can seem like a futile exercise and may add to the stress that you are facing. Those who think they can resolve people’s issues by declaring via social media that they are available to lend an ear – until and unless you are a trained health professional, don’t try to “resolve” someone’s mental health issues without proper training and experience. This could also be stressful personally. I would compare such a situation to giving a monkey the responsibility of maintaining a nuclear reactor, it is bound to cause a meltdown and if Chernobyl is anything to go by then there is no coming back from it.

I understand that mental health comes at a very steep price and these prices render it unaffordable for the majority of people and with stigma surrounding therapy you might feel like you do not want to seek help and put tags on your issues such as depression or anxiety but trust me a therapist is better suited to understand and resolve the issues that you face at the earliest and there are many pocket friendly ways in which you can seek professional help in your country.

I understand that it is a tough time and you don’t have to look too far for help.

Writing your thoughts helps with relaxing and slowing the mind.
Please Note: When you do not want Whj Online to post your articles, use the title “Do Not Publish: <<your title here>>”.

 

 

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Nikita’s Journey into Therapy

Nikita’s Journey into Therapy

For Anney

Needless to say, last year has been an absolute shit show. It was quite literally the most stressful I’ve ever been in my life and getting out of it has taken a lot of conscious effort. 

In March of 2020, right before the lockdown in India, I had a pretty sorted life. I had a job I loved, a wonderful apartment, a great set of friends and a loving partner. But in a matter of months literally everything unravelled. 

It began with my parents getting no income because of the lockdown. I was stuck in my hometown away from where I’ve been living for the last 6 years. I used to work for a travel company, so while I was lucky to still have a job (especially since about 40% of my company was furloughed), I hated the role I was given due to the reorganization that consequently happened. I was suddenly in a long distance relationship with no prep and things were just hard. No one really saw it coming and no one knew how long it was going to last for. 

3 months later, there was still not much change in the situation. But I went back to Bangalore where I was living and met my boyfriend and started looking for another job. I luckily got a much better offer and things were beginning to look better for me. However things at home were getting worse and there was a lot of guilt associated with staying alone and spending so much money when I could be back home and support my family that has 4 adults. So after much protest from my boyfriend, I packed all my things and moved back home. 

That put a real strain on my relationship. Things at home was very stressful and I became the mediator between all the adults fighting at home. Literally everything made me cry and I felt helpless and my boyfriend started shutting me out at this very point which ultimately pushed me over my limit. I knew I needed help and my friends were wonderful. They were always there for me if I wanted to talk. But if you are anything like me, even that started making me feel guilty because I didn’t want to depend on them too much, because I’m sure they had things happening in their life too and I was in no situation to support them. 

I finally turned to therapy. I just needed someone to talk to. To help me sort out all the stress, anxiety and fear I was feeling. When I started therapy I knew a break up with my boyfriend was inevitable and it did happen. I was depressed for the next couple of months and I was constantly crying and lost a lot of weight. And this was not something I could talk about with my family. I had completely lost sight of who I was as a person which was a huge shock in itself, because I have always had a very strong sense of self. 

I had very flexible working hours and I was anyway working from home, so it was becoming hard to differentiate day and night, weekdays and weekends. Therapy was something that I started looking forward to. It was a much needed pause to an otherwise endless blob. Recollecting the past week helped when there is an active listener making note of everything that I say and guiding me through it, one step at a time. Therapy really helped me go back to who I was. It helped me figure out what I can compromise on and what I cannot. It helped me set boundaries and not feel guilty about things that were not my fault. It helped me accept the fact that I cannot control everything happening around me and it really just helped me during a very hard time in my life. 

This was 7 months ago and a lot has happened since then. My parents are still financially strained, but things are better after making some hard decisions. I took a solo trip for a month, just to get a change in environment that really really helped me. By A LOT. I applied for my masters and am all set to begin in the next few months. After struggling with my new job in the beginning with everything else that was happening in my life, it’s currently going really well. My ex boyfriend also reached out to me wanting to fix things and while that is gonna take more time, we are working on figuring things out. 

The past year was difficult but I have learnt a lot about myself as a person. It came with a lot of hard lessons and through it all, I have continued therapy. 

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Pranav’s Case – Detachment

Do you find similarities between yourself and Pranav?

Pranav is a 30 year old Indian man who has a medium paying job at an English speaking firm. His job currently requires him to learn Arabic to enhance his communication skills. He doesn’t think it would be possible as its extremely hard in every manner. He attended a few Arabic classes before coming for therapy. In Muscat he feels extremely lonely and yearns for physical and emotional intimacy. He feels if he had someone to support him, he would be able to do better in life. Nonetheless, he is too afraid of rejection. He changes the topic every time someone tries to make him meet someone new. He also says that he would hurt his ex girlfriend more than everything. He maintains a platonic friendship with her. She finds it hard to completely let go of the possibility of them resuming their relationship in the future as he appears to be consistent and stable, and represents safety, familiarity and “no risk”. She is currently in Muscat.

He has been considering moving back to India. He is certain he would be able to find a less demanding job there. He hopes that the cultural and language similarities could also make it much easier to meet someone new. However, he worries about starting over and making a new life for himself there.  Another thought that distresses him is that it would be quite disappointing and lonely if he moved but didn’t meet anyone.

Pranav has been terrified by the reality of passing time, especially during the time of corona virus pandemic. This has brought up feelings of dying without achieving anything meaningful in life. He feels emotionally paralysed and caught between what he calls “death anxiety” and “life anxiety”.

Pranav is currently undergoing existential therapy.  He has been to therapy before but ends up withdrawing when he feels disappointed and that the therapy is not living up to his expectations. He decided to start the 8 weeks therapeutic journey to try and resolve his issues of detachment. If you found similarities between yourself and Pranav, our team would be able to help you too.

Personal details have been changed to preserve confidentiality.