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Five Love Languages

Languages of Love as Telemedicine

The Five Love Languages is a book written by Gary Chapman in 1992. Evidence based research suggests that everyone has a god-driven desire for complete and unconditional love in all relationships. Now, when you assess this within yourself, you realize what blockers are present and what might stop us from giving and/or receiving love.

You can also take a few quizzes to evaluate your languages of love.

Ask Important Questions
  1. Which blockers are naturally preventing us from releasing our happiness hormones?
  2. Where did those dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin hormones help that adrenalin release?
  3. And for those who might feel dissociated, how did my consciousness react to him/her/this/that?
  4. And hey, when did stress hormones add themselves? Do they act as a layer of protection?

There are five languages of love which could help remove some of the blockers.

1. Words of affirmation

These can be directed inwards or outwards. Practice them with awareness. It might feel like a role-play until you (alone or together) can settle in with the feeling of affirming to oneself and the other. These may look like, “We are growing everyday.”, “We love each other.”, “You make me happy.”, “You make my heart full.”, “I have time to make that decision.”, “I will not rush myself”, “The world is going to be fine and so will I.”, My insides/insecurities are coping and my mind is strong”, “I am overwhelmed at the moment but in some time I will be fine.” etc.

Add them with a few deeeeep breaths all the way to your stomach.

Try a longer sentence. For example, “I don’t understand everything, it makes me feel weak/troubled but I will try to cope and not get anxious/depressed/stressed by taking one step at a time.”

2. Quality time

Make some time for your loved ones. A lot of people can’t either because of “no time” or “no interest”. How many hours a day do you work? Make some time by making your hours 50 minutes long. This gives you 10 minutes to spare per hour. No time to make a baby or no time because too many babies? Take those self-therapy walks. Craft with your loved ones, reflect on your past together, make future plans and live in the present.

Come for a therapy session and use it as the grounds for bonding as they did in the Amazon series “Modern Love” directed by John Carney.

3. Receiving gifts

Gifts don’t have to be lavish. Majority of the people don’t care about the size of the box. It’s the thought that counts. A gift is a non-verbal gesture since a majority of people don’t know how to communicate. It is not because you can’t/don’t explain it properly but because the meaning gets lost in confusion.

Take the colour red as an example. The perception is different in  different people’s minds. In other words, what is said might not always be understood in whole.

4. Acts of service

Acts of service become central when you try to be kind to yourself and others. Ask your partner what help s/he needs or if you can mow the lawn together and set up a BBQ. You might also want to make the beds as a surprise and spend the extra time together.

Speak with your parents/partners/children about what are their preferred acts of service. What is your act of service towards yourself and within yourself – your inner god-child?

5. Physical touch

These could be a pat on the back of your son/daughter or a helping hand for a nun, maybe a hug for your mum/dad or a back massage for your husband/wife. How about that thing that you rarely do? A lot of things that we think we don’t need to talk about crawl up into our relationships.

Do the following exercise and think about the person with whom you would like to remove the blocker.

Exercises which Help
  1. Love might make some people anxious and some people __________________. Fill in the blanks.
  2. I made chocolates but s/he didn’t make ___________________. Take some time to think and then fill in.
  3. Why does it have to be ridged/abstract? Choose what suits.
  4. Words of affirmation are my love language. What’s yours? Converse.
  5. When you tell yourself, “We love each other.” while thinking about your significant other, don’t forget to confirm it by using some of the love languages.
  6. Which of the love languages do you already practice?
  7. Speak with a therapist.
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Do White Noise, Not Drugs

Do White Noise, Not Drugs

Every minute a new person drugs themselves to alter their consciousness. Drugs significantly impact our neuronal chemistry and can even be the cause of our paralysis. The most common reasons to take a drug is to alter the consciousness, destress, break the feeling of being stuck and also feel happy. What we remember to forget is how drugs affect our lungs, heart, kidneys, liver, brain and our interpersonal relationships.

Researchers found an effective alternative for drug abuse. If you or someone you know takes drugs to alter their consciousness or to feel a different feeling, suggest white noise to them. White noise has a positive effect on our brainwaves and neuronal excitability. It triggers alpha activity in our brain when combined with red light. It also helps us relax and focus on the task at hand.

Addiction of any kind can affect our work, education, relationships, lifestyle, health and sleep. Take cellphone addiction for example. You can lose yourself for hours scrolling through Facebook, responding to emails or playing games. Currently, a lot more adults are addicted to their phones than their children. The reason is quite simple. People need a distraction. Our work lives are necessary but our time management solely depends on us.

Using white noise in your daily lives, gives you a sense of distraction from the world. It has been proven effective in ADHD research. Having a mental health issue, not only affects your work but is also related to the amount of drugs we take. Here, I am talking about the legal ones for which you perhaps get a monthly prescription. Upgrading ourselves to white noise has multiple benefits.

5 Benefits of White Noise

  1. Provides an altered state of consciousness when combined with red light.
  2. Increases alertness.
  3. Facilitates new word learning in children and adults.
  4. Helps relax and calm your reactive brain.
  5. Reduces stress and anxiety.

These benefits are not just for someone with a mental health condition and can be of help to everyone; you, your children, friends, colleagues, that person you know with a cardiovascular disease or that lady down the street with diabetes.

Remember the sound of a waterfall? That’s the sound of white noise.

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What Is Therapy?

Free written therapy optimisation

Therapy is a safe and non-judgemental space to project your thoughts and feelings. It’s a set of interventions and communicative experiences to enhance your wellbeing. They are physical, mental and emotional. We explore past memories, present emotions and future objectives  over a few sessions. The process is to make you feel free and fresh. Its a results based approach. You will be able to direct your self-awareness to achieve positive impact and internal harmony.

How much information can the therapist/psychologist disclose about themselves?

It is a general code to keep the therapy one-directional. Therapists adhere to a client-centred approach to make sure the therapeutic sessions are directed towards your personal wellbeing. You can ask your therapist about their years of experience and other personal details but remember therapy is essentially about you. We aim to prioritise your wellbeing.

How does writing therapy help?

Writing about yourself stimulates parts of the brain that are not stimulated by talking. Talking helps express emotions better. You always have the backspace button with writing therapy which helps you use words that fit your situation to the best of your ability. It’s quite the same if you prefer to write with a pencil, you always have the eraser, right at the back. Language is the most essential mindfulness tool in therapy. Currently, we provide writing therapy only in English. This is mostly because your brain is positively impacted when it switches to a different language.

Expressive writing helps bring about self-awareness and mental rejuvenation. Since the left hemisphere of the brain is activated, you train your brain to to work efficiently without getting burnt-out. A relaxed and active brain helps reduce SAD symptoms (stress, anxiety & depression) and breaks creative blocks.

Hold a second. Is it the same as Written Therapy?

Both writing and written therapy are expressive therapies. However, how different therapists approach your situation at hand is slightly different.  At any point of time in your written therapy you can request a one-to-one session with your therapist. Your therapist might be trained in Gestalt, Ganzfeld, Psychotherapy, CBT, MBT, REBT, ACT or other similar mix of words.

We provide Ganzfeld Effect Therapy which is a specialisation field of Gestalt Psychology. In writing therapy, you and your therapist always communicate in writing (sometimes anonymously) or through suggestions based journal therapy.

The process is quite simple with WHJ Written Therapy Online

  1. Write about the presenting problem or conflicting thought.
    This refers to anything that is making you feel quite unbalanced in the last few days. Your therapist will personally ask you about the previous weeks, months, years and situations depending on your presenting problem. Some questions may be easy to answer and some others may require you to take some time to think. Be easy on yourself and remember this is a process.
  2. Exchange emails with your therapist.
    S/he will format your individual therapy plan along with our medical advisor. You will be given prompts to write about which will help your therapist understand you better and chart a therapy outline. You will be required to submit the Informed Consent. Through written therapy, you and your therapist will be able to keep a track of your Wellness and Health Journey intervention structure.
  3. Discuss which issue specifically requires a one-to-one virtually session.
    This will be for 30-60 minutes. Your therapist will ask you to elaborate on the specific issue. You will also practice with some self-touch and no-touch energetic healing tools and techniques. It is not necessary to schedule a virtual call with your therapist if you are not comfortable.
  4. Before ending your therapy, discuss a date with to set targets to achieve personal goals.
    The first and last written sessions are the most important since they shape your Wellness and Health Journey and also mark the time period of self-growth. You don’t want to miss the recap of your progress.

How does Written Therapy help prevent trauma?

SAD symptoms have a knack to induce trauma if not treated with therapy for a long period of time. Trauma is remembered by your body and sometimes forgotten by your brain. They can appear in other ways such as increased or decreased blood pressure, heart rate, body weight, body heat, unhealthy diet or mood swings. Do you have any of these symptoms or feel emotional blocks? If the answer is yes, you might have been exposed to trauma. Talk to your therapist about these symptoms or any other which are currently bothering you.

Your psychologist is your therapy specialist is your psychologist is your therapy specialist. Take a few extra seconds and read that again, but this time slowly.

Sometimes our family and friends can help us, sometimes they can’t. For those tricky feelings that stress, depress or make us anxious, we bring to you your Wellness and Health Journey FREE written therapy.

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GG’s 12 Wellness and Health Journey Pointers

GG’s 12 Wellness and Health Journey Pointers

Hey there! You can call me GG. 🙂

The idea of mental health found a place for itself in my mind only when I was in my college. Until then, health entirely meant the physical aspect. Long story short, I was in a chaotic state while pursuing my engineering degree at NIT Trichy. My first and second years were gruelling, harsh and had a devastating impact on my mental state. I had a multitude problems from every front I could imagine – academics, career, relationships, and the protagonist of the story was existential crisis.

If what I am talking about here seems obscure, let me give you some background. I was an extremely studious person throughout school. Thanks to a sudden bombardment of existential questions and figuring out the meaning of it all, I lost my interest towards scoring high right at the perfect moment. Fortunately, my previous work paid off and helped me get a place in a good college. However, this state of mind followed me till college, and it was just the beginning.

Fear dawned within me. Actually, that’s an underplay. Fear and confusion “reigned” over me. My confusion: “What am I going to do with my life? What do I really like? What is the purpose?”, and all that sort of stuff. I just couldn’t bring myself to stability at that time. Days, months, in fact, years passed by as I was stuck in this state.

The Turning Phase

On one hand, I did enjoy my days there – Outings, late night talks and mini-adventures. The carefree nature I once imagined I could never have, also thrilled me. However, it were those same factors (people) that put me into depression for the first two years. Depression. Yes. Not sadness, depression. It wasn’t particularly people, but my thoughts which led to that state. I realize this as I reflect back now.

The turning phase came when I realized that this problem was not going to solve by itself. At the same time, this was something that I can tackle. My first break came as I began ranting about this to a close friend of mine. That lifted down a humungous weight off my chest. Next, I started listening to motivational stories – note, not motivational videos of people screaming, “Do this, do that!”, but inspirational stories of real-life people. I changed my eating habits, started pursuing new hobbies, went out, talked with more people. I was trying to figure out my passion, whilst reassuring that it’s going to be okay even if you’re late in discovering it. As time flew, I started noticing changes. A lot of them. I started becoming more stable, had lesser fear than before and felt a lot more at ease.

12 Wellness and Health Journey Pointers That I Follow Till Day

What I mentioned here was merely the nutshell of the things that I did and the time and patience it took for the internal transformation. If I were to list down the few key things of my journey so far, they would be:
1. Remember that it’s going to be okay.
2. You’re not alone in this battle.
3. Try sharing it with someone, if you’re comfortable with it.
4. Eat well. Eat healthy. ENJOY eating.
5. Do all the good physical stuff – yoga, breathing, exercises (it was dancing in my case).
6. Read, watch or listen to a lot of good stuff (remember, what type of content you consume is extremely important).
7. Consume relaxed content (the previous point was to focus more on inspirational or educational stuff). Stuff like music, anime and gaming always cheered me up.
8. Have a person you can look up to either in your personal life or some famous personality.
9. If you have ANY addictions in any form, try to get rid of them as early as possible (at the very least, reduce them).
10. Go out. Travel. Near or far, if you have the chance to go out, just go to that mountain or beach or forest, and enjoy the beauty of nature.
11. Start a new hobby. Few which I enjoy – writing, photography, cooking and dancing.
12. Interact more with people.

Also, get yourself around good people. I don’t mean to say some people are bad, but some relationships can be really toxic. For example, someone might applaud hustle culture, but that might not be suitable to you. Another example, you might be in a circle where everyone has a partner, but you personally feel that it isn’t the best time for you to get into one. Basically, end or loosen ends with toxic relationships that pressure you to do something you don’t like and surround yourself with people who can energize you, motivate you and keep you smiling.

These are some of the things that I did which eventually helped me to have a more healthy and stress-free state of mind. I really do hope and pray that this article is in some way helpful to you, the reader.

P. S. Hearty kudos to the team for the idea, vision and the work behind the Wellness and Health Journey.

Best wishes & peace :D!

 

GG is a first year MBA student.

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Thoughts on Social Media Posts about Mental Health

To make sense of your sadness and then heal from depression, negative memories, anxiety, health issues

It wasn’t too long ago that I saw something on Instagram that caught my attention. It was a post by an old college classmate of mine which said something along the lines of, “If you are ever feeling low, if you have something on your mind, please reach out to me and we can talk about it.” Now that post irritated me and I guess it’s just my anger issues cropping up but nonetheless, that post was thought provoking and I am here to tell you why.

I have had my fair share of mental health issues and I continue to work on them. I seek therapy often and I find that it helps me recognize and resolve the many issues that I face. And I want to stress on the important role therapy plays in deciphering, recognizing and resolving many mental health concerns and I want to make this clear, if you have issues that you find overwhelming, please visit a registered therapist and seek professional help. Do not fall prey to social media posts where untrained, attention seeking netizens claim to be there to help you. They have no idea what they are doing and more importantly you are confiding your deepest fears with them and this kind of granular personal information needs to be handled securely by a professional and not someone who puts up a post (unless they are from the professional background).

Therapy involves a lot of confidentiality and a lot of work. People who are not trained will not be able to handle such sensitive information nor have the right tools to efficiently protect your data. Many times speaking to untrained people can seem like a futile exercise and may add to the stress that you are facing. Those who think they can resolve people’s issues by declaring via social media that they are available to lend an ear – until and unless you are a trained health professional, don’t try to “resolve” someone’s mental health issues without proper training and experience. This could also be stressful personally. I would compare such a situation to giving a monkey the responsibility of maintaining a nuclear reactor, it is bound to cause a meltdown and if Chernobyl is anything to go by then there is no coming back from it.

I understand that mental health comes at a very steep price and these prices render it unaffordable for the majority of people and with stigma surrounding therapy you might feel like you do not want to seek help and put tags on your issues such as depression or anxiety but trust me a therapist is better suited to understand and resolve the issues that you face at the earliest and there are many pocket friendly ways in which you can seek professional help in your country.

I understand that it is a tough time and you don’t have to look too far for help.

Writing your thoughts helps with relaxing and slowing the mind.
Please Note: When you do not want Whj Online to post your articles, use the title “Do Not Publish: <<your title here>>”.

 

 

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Grief in Progress

Grief in Progress

My mind has never been a particularly “kind” place. Mistakes accumulate and failures persist. The sense of never-being-quite-good-enough lingers, and makes sure any new venture I start is heavy with the need to be perfect from the very beginning. To deal with this, I had a lot of mechanisms. I socialised, and drowned out the voice in my head with the quiet support of friends. I kept myself busy by picking up projects and setting deadlines for myself. I have 2 different To-Do List Apps, and at least 3 different notebooks tracking my tasks. At school, I tracked self-worth in grades received, events conducted, and teacher’s praise. When I started working as a teacher, my self-worth was contingent on how my students did, and I often thought of myself as the only factor contributing to their indifference/success in learning, completely sidestepping the multiplicity of factors that affected those students investments.

When the pandemic came around, I lost one of my coping mechanisms and I had a lot of time to myself. A lot of time to think about my mental space, and a lot of time to realise that the way I preferred to deal with my emotions was to not deal with them at all. Instead I rationalised and compartmentalised so that I never actually had to “feel” at all. I just needed to come up with explanations, I just needed to remain in control. When things happen, as they do, instead of allowing myself to feel guilt, sorrow, rage, frustration, I came up with excuses for why my emotions weren’t valid, or I would think of ways to suppress it all. I wanted to be different from my parents, so emotionally volatile, that I would rather feel nothing at all than drown in the depths. But the thing is, it’s also hard to feel joy and compassion and love if you have trained yourself to not let your emotions overwhelm you.

My therapist says that emotions remain in your body, that you can feel stress somewhere, anxiety somewhere else. If that’s true, my self-hatred rests between my ribs, always ready to knock me breathless when I am already down. My anxiety rests between tense shoulders, always ready to come to the forefront of any situation, and in a stomach that I hadn’t even realised I keep clenched, and in teeth that find themselves grinding, and in feet and hands that will not stop fidgeting and in my thoughts, “What if?”. I pushed my emotions down for years, but they stayed, making homes for themselves in my body, stubborn in their relentless need to be felt.

This year, grief has been so very loud. There have been so many endings. The suffering I have witnessed among communities, the struggle to stay ‘productive’, moving back to a broken home, and the constant fear of impending sickness– this is a year in which grief cannot be ignored.

So if you are grieving, for whatever reason or cause, know you aren’t alone. I grieve with you, and for you. Take your time, and let it overwhelm you. Your sorrow has a place in the world.

 

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Nikita’s Journey into Therapy

Nikita’s Journey into Therapy

For Anney

Needless to say, last year has been an absolute shit show. It was quite literally the most stressful I’ve ever been in my life and getting out of it has taken a lot of conscious effort. 

In March of 2020, right before the lockdown in India, I had a pretty sorted life. I had a job I loved, a wonderful apartment, a great set of friends and a loving partner. But in a matter of months literally everything unravelled. 

It began with my parents getting no income because of the lockdown. I was stuck in my hometown away from where I’ve been living for the last 6 years. I used to work for a travel company, so while I was lucky to still have a job (especially since about 40% of my company was furloughed), I hated the role I was given due to the reorganization that consequently happened. I was suddenly in a long distance relationship with no prep and things were just hard. No one really saw it coming and no one knew how long it was going to last for. 

3 months later, there was still not much change in the situation. But I went back to Bangalore where I was living and met my boyfriend and started looking for another job. I luckily got a much better offer and things were beginning to look better for me. However things at home were getting worse and there was a lot of guilt associated with staying alone and spending so much money when I could be back home and support my family that has 4 adults. So after much protest from my boyfriend, I packed all my things and moved back home. 

That put a real strain on my relationship. Things at home was very stressful and I became the mediator between all the adults fighting at home. Literally everything made me cry and I felt helpless and my boyfriend started shutting me out at this very point which ultimately pushed me over my limit. I knew I needed help and my friends were wonderful. They were always there for me if I wanted to talk. But if you are anything like me, even that started making me feel guilty because I didn’t want to depend on them too much, because I’m sure they had things happening in their life too and I was in no situation to support them. 

I finally turned to therapy. I just needed someone to talk to. To help me sort out all the stress, anxiety and fear I was feeling. When I started therapy I knew a break up with my boyfriend was inevitable and it did happen. I was depressed for the next couple of months and I was constantly crying and lost a lot of weight. And this was not something I could talk about with my family. I had completely lost sight of who I was as a person which was a huge shock in itself, because I have always had a very strong sense of self. 

I had very flexible working hours and I was anyway working from home, so it was becoming hard to differentiate day and night, weekdays and weekends. Therapy was something that I started looking forward to. It was a much needed pause to an otherwise endless blob. Recollecting the past week helped when there is an active listener making note of everything that I say and guiding me through it, one step at a time. Therapy really helped me go back to who I was. It helped me figure out what I can compromise on and what I cannot. It helped me set boundaries and not feel guilty about things that were not my fault. It helped me accept the fact that I cannot control everything happening around me and it really just helped me during a very hard time in my life. 

This was 7 months ago and a lot has happened since then. My parents are still financially strained, but things are better after making some hard decisions. I took a solo trip for a month, just to get a change in environment that really really helped me. By A LOT. I applied for my masters and am all set to begin in the next few months. After struggling with my new job in the beginning with everything else that was happening in my life, it’s currently going really well. My ex boyfriend also reached out to me wanting to fix things and while that is gonna take more time, we are working on figuring things out. 

The past year was difficult but I have learnt a lot about myself as a person. It came with a lot of hard lessons and through it all, I have continued therapy. 

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Mohammad’s Case – Nervousness

Mohammad’s Case – Nervousness

Do you find similarities between yourself and Mohammad?

Mohammad is an 18 year old student who has limited displayed emotions. He spoke about severe physical, verbal and emotional abuse by his brother growing up. He remembers feeling neglected by his parents from early childhood. Both of them are always working. His brother has an alcohol problem. He finds this extremely disturbing since its forbidden by his religion. He described reacting to his brother’s abuse with passivity and by trying to avoid him. He also described being an easy target at school who is bullied by everyone. He says, “They bully me because I am quiet.” He has been skipping school leading to achieving bad grades in exams.

He spoke about his home life as ‘terrible’. His experiences include frequently being woken up and irritated in the middle of the night by his brother who is also suffering from insomnia. His father is also a passive man who ‘goes with the flow’ when his mother expresses distress regarding work and colleagues. He constantly thinks about suicide. He blames his father for not defending him against his brother. He feels alone in his own house and feels scared to take part in activities at school. He reported occasional nightmares. Mohammad disclosed that his mother’s father committed suicide by drinking poison. He sees similarities between his grandfather and himself. “Both of us, no friends”, he says. He didn’t recall sharing too many memories growing up with him.

At school his major problem is performance anxiety. He feels nervous in front of people and starts to stammer when he is asked to talk in front of people. He doesn’t feel good at school and lacks motivation to do his assignments. However, he enjoys biking and forgets all his problems when he is outside.

Mohammad has been referred by the school counsellor. He arranges hourly sessions whenever he has a difficult time at home or school. His therapeutic journey includes biking, therapy and trying to constructively talk to his family and classmates. If you found similarities between yourself and Mohammad, our team would be able to help you too.

Personal details have been changed to preserve confidentiality.

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Sarah’s Case – Existential

Sarah’s Case – Existential

Do you find similarities between yourself and Sarah?

Sarah is a 49 year old American woman who lived in the Czech Republic for 14 years. She originally moved to Muscat because of her relationship with an Indian man, but they divorced 2 years ago. They had no children and the relationship was very unsatisfactory in terms of meeting Sarah’s needs for intimacy, affection and emotional connection. Her ex husband was an overly rational, emotionally reserved person and She (previously diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder) is very emotionally labile and intense. Despite the divorce, Sarah remained in Muscat. She has a few close friends and no family here. Both her parents died within 2 months of each other last year. She has 3 siblings who still live in the US. She doesn’t feel close to any of them. They are all significantly older than her and extremely “rational”. She often feels patronised by them.

She is extremely intelligent and has a well-paid job which she does very well. However, it brings her no joy and she has no strong interest. Her passion and talent is theatre. She used to take actin and improvisation classes but lost motivation for these a long time ago. Her dream is to travel around the world using theatre and educate people about social injustices and how they can be addressed. She feels prevented from trying to follow her dreams. She says, “It is unfortunate but I am too old now to make a change.” She constantly has feelings of helplessness because she would have to sacrifice financial security.

Sarah is under the care of a therapist who uses acceptance and commitment therapy. She writes and directs small plays to deal with her existential issues. If you found similarities between yourself and Sarah, our team would be able to help you.

Personal details have been changed to preserve confidentiality.

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Paul’s Case – Depression

Paul’s Case – Depression

Do you find similarities between yourself and Paul?

Paul is a 25 year old man who was diagnosed with depression eight months ago. He was referred by his key worker for psychological input relating to low mood, anger, anxiety and social isolation. He has 2 children under the age of 3 who live with his partner in her parents’ house. Paul’s referral was preceded by a seven week therapeutic journey. A row in his relationship led to a temporary break up. He had threatened his wife several times and their fights would end up being physical. This made him start therapy again.

He initially appeared somewhat nervous and reported no previous psychological input. Nevertheless, he seemed keen to discuss his difficulties and stated that he would like to ‘get some help’ for how he has been feeling. He described persistent low mood and anxiety, and identified his perceived difficulty managing feelings of intense anger as his main priority. His current problems had escalated to the extent that for the last few months he had been avoiding leaving the house because of the feelings of anger triggered in him by ‘totally irrelevant things’. These factors have led to a considerable restriction of Paul’s current life. He described never having been able to hold down a job, due to feeling victimised and criticised by employers. Although he thought the anti-depressant medication he has been taking had been helpful, he still says, “I’m in a bad mood all the time”. He also described a persistent feeling that people don’t like him.

Paul is under the care of a therapist who uses psychoanalytic therapy. He visits his therapist on a weekly basis. He still has depressive feelings but is more aware of them when he has a setback. He reminds himself to be resilient everyday. If you found similarities between yourself and Paul, our team would be able to help you.

Personal details have been changed to preserve confidentiality.

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Anna’s Case – Health Anxiety

Anna’s Case – Health Anxiety

Do you find similarities between yourself and Anna?

Anna is a 33 year old Russian woman who has been living and working in Bangalore for 5 years. She originally came to therapy with signs of health anxiety and preoccupation with physical symptoms, which seem to have been triggered by her boyfriend of four years deciding to go to Amsterdam for a year and a consequent fear of losing the relationship. It seemed in the initial session that Anna was focusing and worrying about her physical health instead of having to deal with her feelings about her boyfriend leaving. However, when the therapist asked whether this might be possible, she denied this and was in the process of undergoing repeated medical tests and scans to identify a cause for her physical symptoms. It was discussed that therapy would only be helpful for Anna when she saw at least some of her problems as being linked to psychological factors.

Six months later Anna contacted the therapist again and arranged another consultation. She was now under the care of a psychiatrist, who had started her on antidepressants and suggested she try therapy again. Anna’s boyfriend had gone to Amsterdam and the relationship had ended. She felt abandoned and empty and deeply missed the friendship. Although she felt that the relationship had probably not been right for a long time, she had stayed in it so long because she was afraid of being alone. She realized she had been dependent on her boyfriend for validation, attention and acceptance, and was struggling to adjust to being single. She noted a pattern in all relationships (with both family and past partners) of being dependent on others (for advice, looking after, self-esteem, etc.) and described herself as an “egoist” who tries to manipulate others to get what she wants and never being happy with what she gets. She had no strong hobbies, interests or passions. She had a small but good circle of friends in Prague and often spent time socializing with them. She also had regular contact with her family in Russia.

Although, Anna wanted to learn to be comfortable being alone, within a few weeks she had started flirting with colleagues in whom she had never been interested previously, in order to distract herself and get attention. Despite being insecure about her appearance, she also placed a lot of value on it and used it as her main way of interacting with males. Se described multiple instances of binge drinking, sometimes to the point of vomiting and memory loss.

Anna is under the care of a person-centered therapist. She is doing better now compared to when she started therapy. If you found similarities between your case and Anna’s, our team would be able to help you.

Personal details have been changed to preserve confidentiality.